Anonymous asked: WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM
Babies come from the cold continent of Antarctica. Penguins in Igloo factories work on the assembly lines, putting together baby parts that are hand crafted by the ice elves. Ice elves go out every morning in search of the finest ice blocks, shaping them into smooth look-alike human sculptures.
You might be saying, “We’re not made of ice!” which is true, but this is only the first step. After the high-quality ice parts have been pieced together by the penguins, they are shipped off to the Great Wizard of Snow who lives near Santa. He casts spells onto the frozen human-like ice bodies, transforming them from ice to stone.
Once the bodies are stone, he teleports them to the Sand Wizard, who lives in the middle of the Sahara Desert. The Sand Wizard uses his sand power to sand down the stone until it is extremely smooth. Only then can he cast his spell of transforming stone to skin. If he does not have a smooth enough stone body, there will be mutations and problems (so blame the Sand Wizard for all body problems you may have from birth).
Once completed, vikings with boar sleds, similar to dog sleds, come along and transport the almost complete babies to Iceland. In Iceland, the souls of gingers are stolen and placed into all the almost alive babies, bringing them closer to life - but still needing organs. Once ginger babies reach the age of 2, their souls are removed again for the recycling process.
Once completed, the Easter Bunny brings all the eggs he has harvested from around the world to Iceland where he somehow, through magic or the black market, produces human organs inside the eggs. The Vikings take these organs and carefully place them in each person through the mummification process they’ve always had. The Egyptians stole the Vikings organ knowledge/techniques, but that’s an entirely different story.
Once the organs are good to go, the storks fly in and carry the babies to their destination.
And that’s it.